Wah wah wah. It’s been a while. Three missed blogs to be exact. That one is on me. I think I started writing the week 4 blog which was super funny but it drifted into the ether. If there’s one blog I will never and have never missed, it’s the coveted midseason review. Seven weeks down, seven to go.
We’ve officially reached the halfway point of the SUPER League regular season, which means it’s time to look at where everyone stands, hand out some completely meaningless awards, and pretend I have any idea how the second half of the season is going to unfold.
Meanwhile, NIM & ZYN Dyansty have combined for three wins in seven weeks of football. If you’re wondering why we have a Loser List, those two are doing an excellent job demonstrating its importance.
Anyway, we’ve got a lot to cover.
2026 SCS Week 7 Rankings
| Rank | Team | Points | Trend |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls | 94.8 | ↑1 |
| 2 | Transgender Cigarettes | 93.6 | ↑2 |
| 3 | Sad Dads | 91.0 | ↓2 |
| 4 | The Funky Uncles | 83.7 | ↑1 |
| 5 | The Violent Beauregardes | 83.2 | ↑1 |
| 6 | Choking the Belichicken | 81.9 | ↓4 |
| 7 | Viagra Valley Blue Chews | 73.1 | ↔ |
| 8 | The Portuguese Short Kings | 72.6 | ↔ |
| 9 | ZYN Dynasty | 71.1 | ↑1 |
| 10 | 9 Inch Males | 64.9 | ↓1 |
2026 Loser List as of Week 7
| TEAM | WEEKS THEY WERE A LOSER | LEAGUE FUND MONEY |
|---|---|---|
| ZYN Dynasty | Weeks 1, 2, 3 & 6 | $20 |
| NIM | Weeks 4 & 5 | $10 |
| CTB | Week 7 | $5 |
Stats & Info – Mid-Season Comparison & Awards
Comparison #1: 2025 Median Record vs. 2026 Median Record
Comparison #2: 2025 Matchup Record vs. 2026 Matchup Record
Comparison #3: 2025 Overall Record vs. 2026 Overall Record
Overall Scoring Stats/Top Scores
Mid-Season Inconsequential Awards
Manager of the Mid-Year: At 13-1, the Batgirls have been the class of the league through seven weeks. They’re the only team to finish above the league median every single week, and they’ve managed to win games even when the offense hasn’t been particularly impressive. There’s still plenty of football left, but it’s hard to argue against the results. And yes, I’m giving myself this award. It’s my fucking blog.
GM of the Mid-Year: Pat has gone from 6-8 at this point last season to 10-4, the biggest improvement in head-to-head winning percentage in the league. After spending much of last season fighting to stay relevant, TVB has established itself as a legitimate contender. Whether Pat actually knows what he’s doing or has simply stumbled into a good team remains up for debate, but the results speak for themselves.
Most Frustrating Team: Garvey’s team makes absolutely no sense. The Cigs have one of the more dangerous rosters in the league and have shown they can put up ridiculous numbers, yet somehow they’re sitting at 7-7. Every time it looks like they’re ready to make a run, something goes wrong. This team could realistically beat anyone in the league, but they could also lose to a team starting three guys on injured reserve. Nothing would surprise me.
Hot Seat of the Mid-Year: Mata entered the season with legitimate expectations after finishing the first seven weeks of 2025 at 9-5. Fast-forward a year, and he’s sitting at 3-11. The Short Kings have gone from a competitive team to one of the league’s biggest disappointments, and there’s no obvious indication that things are about to improve. At some point, we have to stop talking about bad luck and start asking some uncomfortable questions about the guy running the operation.
ZYN Cup Update
Signing off,
Your Beloved Commissioner
