The 2023 regular season has officially come to a close. It was another spectacular year for the Super League but now the real fun starts. We’ve had some drivers, some passengers and some people who shouldn’t have even been allowed on the bus. We now enter into a territory that 5/6 teams have been in before (TBB is the only new playoff team this year while the Spicy Boys have graciously left the postseason). Let’s dive into the week that was and then wrap it up with some HUGE playoff previews.
Week 14 Recap
Someone Had to Win This One – Part IV – The Finale
The Shit Bowl finale took place as the lowly TCs were beaten by the lowly CTBs. I’ve never made CTB plural before and truthfully, that was very difficult and ugly to type out. This game fucking sucked, and it was the two lowest scores of the week. Garvey has insisted on barely putting out a lineup each week though he has never been in violation of the rules which I must say is impressive. Overall, this game meant very little although the win for CTB puts them in the fourth position for the lottery. Thank God I don’t have to talk about these teams anymore.
Stop Chasing Kelce, That’s Mata’s Girl…
I admittedly have been very harsh on ZYN Dynasty this season. I didn’t really see them being a contender and with their aging roster, I figured they would fizzle out at the end of the season. However, they have proven me very wrong. They’re one of the hottest teams in the league and it appears that they’re just getting started. Josh Allen provides a safe floor weekly, Deebo is STANDING on business at the moment and Raheem Mostert has been an absolute stud. The acquisition of Chase is still an atrocious management decision but at the moment, it has not hurt them in any way. They made swift work of TPSK whose season has been long over for a good while. This game was meaningless and never really got close. ZYN Dynasty carries some much-needed momentum heading into their first-round playoff matchup.
Tragedy (For Me)
The Sad Dads came into their final matchup of the season in quite a peculiar position. They had a stranglehold on the 2 spot for a majority of the year but some shaky performances saw their hopes of a first round bye dissipate. In the end, they were able to get just enough points in Week 14 to snag the double win and end TBB’s outside hopes of a first round bye. It was always going to be an uphill battle for the Spicy Boys, but Herbert’s season-ending injury made the result far less obvious. Sad Dads got their usual strong production from the RB group, but Garrett Wilson’s fantastic game was a huge positive for them as they move on to the first round of the playoffs. With Herbert out, do the Sad Dads consider elevating Brock Purdy or do they roll the dice with DangeRuss? We shall see! The Spicy Boys end their tumultuous season but not without silverware. They are the ZYN Cup Holders and have earned themselves a place in next year’s Community Shield. A fantastically bad season for the Boys ends here.
Just Enough Inches For the 5th Seed
A grinder of a game as the Funkles had 3 players suiting up for MNF. Coming into the game, NIM held a pretty sizeable lead and only a collapse would have seen them lose hold of the 5 seed. The Funkles put up a valiant effort behind Waddle, Achane and DHop’s MNF performances but it was simply not enough. Both teams enter the playoffs with some serious personnel concerns. The Funkles have a massive QB headache as Josh Dobbs has reverted back to… well… Josh Dobbs while Geno Smith is currently out and may miss Monday Night’s tilt with the Birds. NIM on the other hand got their first taste of JJeff in a NIM kit but his debut was cut short by a chest injury. Early reports say that he will likely play in Week 15 but it’s definitely something to keep an eye on.
Violet’s Kryptonite
The final regular season matchup of the year saw the mighty TVB face off against the frisky Batgirls. The Batgirls entered the matchup needing a monster week and boy (or should I say girl) did they deliver! They once again stunned TVB handing the defending champs only their third matchup loss of the year (2 of those were to TBB). TVB had a brutal week as they lost both the median and matchup result for the first time all year. Their hopes of becoming etched in Super League history have passed. They officially have the exact same record as Free Deshaun in 2022 while Free Deshaun had a few more points for. While TVB’s ending of their season leaves a bad taste in their mouth, they must keep their eye on the prize and not let meaningless results cloud their judgement. TBB on the other hand come into the playoffs as arguably the hottest team. Their depth at both RB and WR give them a huge confidence boost as they go to unchartered waters known as the playoffs.
2023-2024 Post-Week 14 Power Rankings
- The Violent Beauregardes (23-5) [-]: An absolute stunning loss. A team that had looked like they were on the cusp of glory fall at the finish line and are officially NOT the greatest regular season performer of all-time…
- Sad Dads (22-6) [-]: A win is a win, and the Sad Dads did what they had to do. However, Herbert’s injury has to be a cause for concern.
- The Bitchin Batgirls (21-7) [-]: Many people would likely expect them to move up the rankings but with the playoffs set, they are comfortable waiting in the wings.
- ZYN Dynasty (18-10) [-]: They’re scoring points at the right time and are officially the second hottest team in the league. Can they play spoiler?
- Nine Inch Males (17-11) [-]: They secured the 5 seed in a tough battle with the Funkles but Jefferson’s injury could muddy the waters.
- The Funky Uncles (15-13) [-]: A tough week 14 sees them stuck in the 6th spot and in a QB hellhole.
- The Portuguese Short Kings (6-22) [-]: Thanks for coming out.
- Spicy Boys (6-22) [-]: Thanks for coming out.
- Choking the Belichicken (7-21) [-]: Thanks for coming out.
- Transgender Cigs (5-23) [-]: Thanks for coming out.
SCS (SuperLeague Championship Series) Rankings & Coaches’ Poll
| Rank | Team | Points | Trend |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Violent Beauregardes | 112 | ↔ |
| 2 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls | 108 | ↑1 |
| 3 | Sad Dads | 107 | ↓1 |
| 4 | ZYN Dynasty | 104 | ↔ |
| 5 | Nine Inch Males | 98 | ↔ |
| 6 | The Funky Uncles | 90 | ↔ |
| 7 | Spicy Boys | 81 | ↔ |
| 8 | The Portuguese Short Kings | 81 | ↔ |
| 9 | Choking the Belichicken | 79 | ↔ |
| 10 | Transgender Cigarettes | 71 | ↔ |
The Coaches for this week are:
- Derek Ross – Spicy Boys Co-President & Governor
- Michael Garvey – Trans Cigs President & Governor
- Ryan Dasch – NIM President & Governor
- Pat Shetzline – TVB President & Governor
| Rank | Team | Avg. Rank | Trend |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls (2) | 2.00 | ↑1 |
| 2 | Sad Dads (1) | 2.25 | ↑1 |
| 3 | The Violent Beauregardes | 2.75 | ↓2 |
| 4 | ZYN Dynasty | 4.00 | ↔ |
| 5 | Nine Inch Males | 5.25 | ↔ |
| 6 | The Funky Uncles | 6.25 | ↔ |
| 7 | The Portuguese Short Kings | 7.75 | ↔ |
| 8 | Transgender Cigs (1) | 7.75 | ↔ |
| 9 | Spicy Boys | 8.25 | ↔ |
| 10 | Choking the Belichicken | 8.75 | ↔ |
Stats & Info as of Week 14
2023 REGULAR SEASON TOP SCORES
| RANK | TEAM | SCORE |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Violent Beauregardes – Week 3 | 202.11 |
| 2 | Sad Dads – Week 12 | 197.98 |
| 3 | The Violent Beauregardes – Week 13 | 197.01 |
| 4 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls – Week 5 | 196.53 |
| 5 | ZYN Dynasty – Week 12 | 195.71 |
| 6 | Nine Inch Males – Week 3 | 192.89 |
| 7 | ZYN Dynasty – Week 3 | 191.17 |
| 8 | ZYN Dynasty – Week 5 | 187.21 |
| 9 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls – Week 14 | 184.79 |
| 10 | Sad Dads – Week 10 | 180.02 |
WEEKLY RECORD AGAINST ALL TEAMS
This chart is showing how you would have done if you had to matchup with every single team each week.
| RANK | TEAM | TOTAL RECORD |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Violent Beauregardes | 99-27 |
| 2 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls | 88-38 |
| 3 | Sad Dads | 86-40 |
| 4 | ZYN Dynasty | 77-49 |
| 5 | Nine Inch Males | 73-53 |
| 6 | The Funky Uncles | 55-71 |
| 7 | Spicy Boys | 50-76 |
| 8 | The Portuguese Short Kings | 43-83 |
| 9 | Choking the Belichicken | 36-90 |
| 10 | Transgender Cigs | 23-103 |
RUNNING BACK PPG – REGULAR SEASON
| RANK | TEAM | PPG |
| 1 | Sad Dads | 18.24 |
| 2 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls | 17.89 |
| 3 | Nine Inch Males | 17.69 |
WIDE RECEIVER PPG – REGULAR SEASON
| RANK | TEAM | PPG |
| 1 | The Violent Beauregardes | 18.32 |
| 2 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls | 16.46 |
| 3 | ZYN Dynasty | 14.64 |
TIGHT END PPG – REGULAR SEASON
| RANK | TEAM | PPG |
| 1 | ZYN Dynasty | 14.51 |
| 2 | Sad Dads | 14.26 |
| 3 | The Violent Beauregardes | 13.92 |
LOSER LIST AS OF WEEK 14
| TEAM | WEEKS THEY WERE A LOSER | LEAGUE FUND MONEY |
| Trans Cigs | Week 1, Week 5, Week 6, Week 9, Week 11, Week 12, Week 13, Week 14 | $40 |
| NIM | Week 4, Week 8 | $10 |
| TPSK | Week 2 | $5 |
| Spicy Boys | Week 3 | $5 |
| Funkles | Week 7 | $5 |
| ZYN Dynasty | Week 10 | $5 |
Round 1 Playoff Preview & Picks
vs
#4 ZYN Dynasty vs. #5 Nine Inch Males
- ALL-TIME SERIES: Tied Series (2-2). ZYN Dynasty has a 62.33-point advantage.
- 2023 Season: NIM are 2-0 against ZYN Dynasty this year outscoring them 269.64 to 229.52
- 2022 Season: ZYN Dynasty were 2-0 against NIM in 2022 outscoring them 387.31 to 284.86
- RECORD: The teams have an identical match-up record in 2023 with the overall record advantage going to ZYN Dynasty due to a better median record.
- STRENGTH OF SCHEDULE: NIM have had a marginally more difficult schedule than ZYN Dynasty.
- ZYN Dynasty played (8) playoff-eligible teams with a record of 2-6 in those matchups.
- NIM played (8) playoff-eligible teams with a record of 4-4 in those matchups.
Two teams who have had drastically different years. While both teams entered the season as clear playoff-contenders, neither team was able to live up to their self-imposed expectations.
ZYN Dynasty entered the season as a team on the decline in the eyes of many in the league, but their governor was hellbent on recapturing their form from 2022. A juggernaut in 2022, ZYN Dynasty was 23-5 and had their way with a majority of the league during the regular season. Unfortunately for them, they fell to the lowly 6 seed in the semi-finals, sending them packing early thinking about what could have happened. Entering 2023 with very little youth or draft capital, they made the aggressive decision early in the season to sell out for the year by shipping all of their picks for Jamarr Chase. While Chase is most definitely a key piece for any dynasty team, he never really put them over the edge.
While NIM were not a powerhouse in 2022 like ZYN Dynasty, they were still a strong 3 seed and only just missed out on a first round bye. In the end, that first round bye would have been a blessing as they were stunned by the 6 seed as well, ending their 2022 campaign prematurely. They came into 2023 looking strong after making a slew of offseason trades but midseason decided that they were going to punt for next year. Their teetering form makes them an oddity in the league, but they have the players to get a win on any given week.
PREVIEW & PICK: A great first round matchup between teams who are split dead even in their all-time series. ZYN Dynasty has shown all season that they are trying to win it all while NIM have flip-flopped on what they really want from their team in 2023. Justin Jefferson’s health is of great concern for NIM as his acquisition was completed for matchups like this. If you’ve been a follower of these from the jump, you know I’m a fucking hater. So, if you really thought I’d change, you’re fucking out of your mind. NIM take the win and take out their 6-hour old 6milly ZYN.
vs
#3 The Bitchin’ Batgirls vs. #6 The Funky Uncles
- ALL-TIME SERIES: Tied Series (1-1). TBB has a 38.67-point advantage.
- 2023 Season: The Funkles are 1-0 against TBB this year outscoring them 136.27 to 118.73 in their only matchup.
- 2022 Season: TBB were 1-0 against The Funkles in 2022 outscoring them 149.29 to 93.08 in their only matchup.
- RECORD: TBB holds both the matchup & median record advantage over The Funkles in 2023.
- STRENGTH OF SCHEDULE: The Funkles have had a more difficult schedule in 2023.
- The Funkles played (8) playoff-eligible teams with a record of 3-5 in those matchups.
- TBB played (7) playoff-eligible teams with a record of 5-2 in those matchups.
2022 was not kind to either of these teams but in drastically different ways. While TBB was the clear-cut worst team in the league, The Funkles were a first-round bye team and hoping to continue to build on that in 2023.
The Funkles entered the season as the #4 power-ranked team. 2022 ended in devastation as they were stunned, like many other high seeds, by TVB. Their offseason was odd as they dealt a good bit of their pieces including Mark Andrews, Stefon Diggs & Davante Adams. Not to mention, they were dealing with the suspension of Alvin Kamara, but Justin Jefferson & Waddle were likely to prove to be enough to stay in contention during his absence. The addition of Achane in the draft proved to be a huge decision as his electric start had the Funkles in a very solid position. They’ve been a bit up and down, teetering from the 3 seed in Week 9 to being currently situated in 6th.
TBB was the league’s punching bag in 2022 which culminated in a 7-21 record BUT their postseason efforts saw them get an opportunity to grab the coveted #1 pick. Instead of building on that youth, they decided to flip any and every asset they had to get in the position they currently are in. Entering the season, their manager was very high on their chances while the rest of the league still felt that the youth movement would be their downfall. In the end, their trade-heavy regular season sees them come into the playoffs on win streak of 10 (median & matchup) and the 2nd highest scoring team on the year. A true rags to riches story has seen them move on from all of their previous starters aside from Ceedee Lamb & DJ Moore
PREVIEW & PICK: One of the rare matchups between these two as this will be only their third official matchup against one another. The Batgirls come into this one red hot, but the Funkles have been here before. The Funkles are in a tough spot without a clear answer to their QB room, but they have some serious Starpower to make up for that issue in the form of CMC, Achane, Waddle and a surging Drake London. The Batgirls biggest hurdle could be ensuring they start the right lineup as there are MANY mouths to feed at the moment. I fucking HATE doing this, but Batgirls are just too good to lose twice in the same season to the Funkles. Batgirls move on to the semi-finals.
Well folks, that concludes the final blog of the regular season. It has been an absolute pleasure reviewing all of your atrocious performances but now it is time for the big boys to play.
Please tune in at 8PM EST tonight in the chat for a discord link to the live lottery reveal.
Sincerely AND With Love,
Your Beloved Commissioner
AverageFantasyFootballGuy.com 