Last year, the 3 & 4 seeds finally broke the two year curse of lower seeds winning. That curse is back to life though as we once again see the lower seeds put a beating on the 3 & 4 seeds. Let’s briefly recap the games.
TVB Takes the Sad Dads to Skullfuck City
At 6:23pm on Sunday, the score was 91.96 to 92.98 in favor TVB however the Sad Dads were projected to win the matchup by a score of 141.22 to 139.39. As we all know, that did not happen. TVB ended up absolutely bludgeoning their beloved brother-in-law by a resounding 42+ points. TVB’s incredible output was powered by ETN’s 3 TD explosion as well as Darren Waller’s continued success when healthy. They had no players with less than double digit points as well. A truly incredible performance for the lowly 6 seed. The Sad Dads were fading dramatically towards the end of the season, and it seems almost fitting that they faded out in this matchup. All four of the WRs were held to single digits as they combined for just over 20 pts. Meanwhile, DJ Moore alone had more points for TVB. A sad end for the reigning champs.
Nothing Quite Like That First Time
The Trans Cigs made quite the impression in their first ever playoff appearance. Despite some modest output from some key contributors as well as leaving 42 points on the bench, the Cigs were able to get the job done in pretty convincing fashion. Their WR room put in a hell of a performance as all 4 put up 20+ points. CTB on the other hand could not capitalize on James Cook’s monster performance as their WRs were not able to do enough to keep them in it. It’s a tough ending for an incredible season from CTB but the party is just getting started for the Trannies. Can they keep the momentum going and pull off the unthinkable?
Semi-Final Preview & Picks
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#1 The Bitchin’ Batgirls vs. #6 The Violent Beauregardes
- ALL-TIME SERIES: TBB lead the series 4-3.
- TBB averages 154.23 pts in this series while TVB average 141.46 pts
- The two met in Week 9 in an incredibly high scoring affair as TBB won 178.46 to 159.73
- PLAYOFF RECORD: TBB is 0-1 in the playoffs while TVB are an incredible 5-1 all-time
- STRENGTH OF SCHEDULE:
- TVB played (7) playoff teams and had a record of 2-5 in those matchups.
- TBB played (8) playoff teams and had a record of 5-3 in those matchups.
PREVIEW & PICK:
QB: It’s pretty fucking insane that we are here but yes, Matt Stafford is still playing football and at an insanely high caliber level. In the past, TBB’s QB Lamar Jackson would only have maybe a Josh Allen or Jalen Hurts that would be comparable but that has not been the case this year. Lamar has struggled mightily as he currently sits at QB16 on total points for the season & QB13 on a ppg-basis. Meanwhile, Matt Stafford is QB2 in both categories respectively. Both QBs have tough matchups this week. Stafford struggled (relatively speaking) last time they played Seattle, but Lamar does not instill much confidence at the moment. TVB have the edge.
RB: An area of strength for TBB in the past has been a minor weakness this year. They currently have RB2 (0.1 points away from RB1), RB12 & RB15 while TVB are much thinner with RB10 & 13 at their disposal. Those rankings don’t tell the true story and this is an extremely tight comparison. TVB have the depth, TBB have the power. Barely and I mean BARELY, the edge is with TBB.
WR: This is another extremely close battle. How the fuck are TVB the 6th seed? This sucks ass. TVB currently have the overall WR1 & WR8 on PPG-basis. TBB have WR2 & WR4. Historically they probably would have had another top 5 WR but the Vikings are a terrorist organization and have committed war crimes in their current usage of Justin Jefferson. FUCKING FIGURE IT OUT. It’s tight but I’ll give the extremely minor edge to TBB.
TE: This is not close. Darren Waller is TE9 on a PPG-Basis but Trey McBride resides in a complete league of his own. He’s over 4 pts ppg better than the next TE (who has played more than 8 games) and has almost 80 overall points between him and TE2. TBB have the obvious edge BUT TVB are not void of talent at the position.
THE VERDICT: We play in three leagues this week and that makes me so fucking nervous. I am the scrappy underdog in the one league, and it almost feels like I’m an underdog here. This matchup is insanely close and it fucking pains me to say this but SUCK MY FUCKING DICK, TBB ARE FUCKING LEGIT. FUCK YOU…
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#2 The Funky Uncles vs. #5 The Transgender Cigs
- ALL-TIME SERIES: The Funkles have easily handled the Trans Cigs as they lead the series 5-1.
- The Funkles average 148.56 pts in this series while the Trans Cigs average 120.47 pts
- They split the season series 1-1
- PLAYOFF RECORD: Funkles are 2-3 in the playoffs while the Trans Cigs are 1-0.
- STRENGTH OF SCHEDULE:
- The Funkles played (8) playoff teams and had a record of 6-2 in those matchups.
- Trans Cigs played (8) playoff teams and had a record of 5-3 in those matchups.
PREVIEW & PICK: The Funkles are making their FOURTH straight Semi-Final appearance, an impressive feat that no other team can claim.
QB: It was an overpay then and still is today but trading for Josh Allen has really made a difference for the Funkles. He is an elite QB and comfortably the overall QB1. The Cigs also made a late season trade as they acquired Jalen Hurts. Hurts has had a tumultuous year but still sits at QB5 overall. Allen has a more challenging matchup this week, but it doesn’t matter when you’re as good as he is. The Funkles have a substantial edge.
RB: RB room is not as close. The Funkles currently have 3 top 15 RBs (RB5, RB8 & RB13) while the Trans Cigs only have 1 (RB3). The Funkles had 3 top 15 guys last year (I believe they are the same 3 players). The Cigs have started to get some serious production for their rookie RBs which could really help them in this matchup as Treveyon Henderson appears to have really found his stride despite not having a substantially high snap count. Funkles have the edge in this area as well but the Cigs have the ability to keep up the pace if the rookies can keep things moving.
WR: The Funkles will be eagerly awaiting the injury news on Drake London (WR3 on the year) as his status plays a huge role in this matchup. In addition to London, they currently have 1 other top 15 WR in AJ Brown (WR12) while the Cigs have 3 top 15 WRs on a PPG-basis. This is a clear area of strength for the Cigs though the Funkles WR room is nothing to scoff at. The Cigs have had some serious boom or bust moments and that could once again play a role in this matchup. The Cigs have the edge.
TE: Kittle (TE4) has been a machine when healthy while the Cigs have had a tough time choosing between Tyler Warren and Kyle Pitts. Funkles get the slight edge as Kittle has been on fire when healthy and you are out of your mind if you think I trust Kyle Pitts.
THE VERDICT: An excellent, excellent matchup. The Funkles are just too damn good at the moment but I expect some serious fireworks in this one. Funkles advance to their second straight final.
Signing off,
Your Beloved Commissioner
AverageFantasyFootballGuy.com 