Three weeks in a row pussies. What a great week. I’m so fucking back it’s not even funny. This has been a pretty fun year. There’s two clear teams ahead of the pack but there’s some serious parity and battles that will be going on for the last two playoff spots between 5 teams which is sweet. Not sure some of them even want to make the playoffs but that’s why this is fun. How about New York electing a communist? Pretty crazy. Fuckin idiot just wants people to be able to afford to live and feed their families. What a piece of shit.
Week 9 Riffcap
(Instead of Recap in which I will just riff and rattle off thoughts about the past week’s matchups)
- TBB vs. TVB: Started two TEs and still finished highest scorer; TBB is beyond back; CMC is a machine; Lamar drops the quietest 30+ point performances; Three-Headed WR Monster continues to be uber consistent; Rico Dowdle is a problem; Holy shit you started Calvin Austin?; JSN continues to be v good; Imagine if you started Caleb Williams?????
- Sad Dads vs. Trans Cigs: Ugly performance for the dads; JT comes back to earth; Just really mid performances from top to bottom and that median loss is going to hurt down the stretch; What happened to the cigs?; Hey, maybe trading for Hurts wasn’t as stupid as it originally seemed?; Gibbs had 4.2 points? That’s fucking bizarre; Maserati Marv is starting to cook.
- TPSK vs. Funkles: Not the matchup I expected to produce a double median win; Drake London with a Hatty; Josh Allen stat padding continues; Poor Tucker Kraft; Monangai popped off; Kincaid may be alive; Boutte was Booty
- CTB vs. ZYN: Ben started two people who were not even active and he still did not have his lowest point total on the year; CTB came back to reality; Mahomes was very mid; I don’t want to talk about this matchup any further.
- NIM vs. FFT: NIM said ‘NOT SO FAST!!’; Brock Bowers and Tee Higgins fucking CARRIED because my lord this is a gross lineup output wise; Aaron Jones is made of paper mache; Drake Maye for MVP; Rashee Rice still a bad guy; Travis Kelce also a bad guy but because he’s a dork, not a criminal
2025 SCS Week 9 Rankings
| Rank | Team | Points | Trend |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls | 5090.66 | ↑1 |
| 2 | Sad Dads | 4817.30 | ↓1 |
| 3 | Choking the Belichicken | 4327.36 | ↔ |
| 4 | The Funky Uncles | 4035.79 | ↔ |
| 5 | The Violent Beauregardes | 3260.50 | ↑1 |
| 6 | Transgender Cigarettes | 3125.61 | ↓1 |
| 7 | The Portuguese Short Kings | 3063.00 | ↔ |
| 8 | Fantasy Football Team | 2701.53 | ↔ |
| 9 | 9 Inch Males | 2573.53 | ↔ |
| 10 | ZYN Dynasty | 1118.66 | ↔ |
2025 Week 9 Coaches Poll
| Rank | Team | Avg. Rank | Trend |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls (5) | 1.17 | ↔ |
| 2 | Sad Dads (1) | 1.83 | ↓1 |
| 3 | The Funky Uncles | 3.33 | ↑1 |
| 4 | Choking the Belichicken | 3.67 | ↓1 |
| 5 | The Violent Beauregardes | 5.83 | ↑3 |
| 6 | The Portuguese Short Kings | 6.33 | ↔ |
| 7 | Transgender Cigarettes | 6.67 | ↓2 |
| 8 | 9 Inch Males | 8.00 | ↑1 |
| 9 | Fantasy Football Team | 8.17 | ↓2 |
| 10 | ZYN Dynasty | 10.00 | ↔ |
2025 Loser List as of Week 9
| TEAM | WEEKS THEY WERE A LOSER | LEAGUE FUND MONEY |
|---|---|---|
| ZYN Dynasty | Weeks 1 thru 9 | $45 |
The 2025 Zyn Cup – SF Update
Choking the Belichicken (up 17.99 pts) vs. The Fantasy Football Team: CTB took Leg 1 by a score of 126.65 to 108.66 giving them a decent, but “comebackable” 17.99 advantage heading into the 2nd Leg. Ironically, these two ACTUALLY play each other this week and despite CTB going into this one with no Mahomes, they should be able to take care of business and book their place in the final.
The Bitchin’ Batgirls (up 59.46 pts) vs. Sad Dads: I predicted last week that over the course of the two legs, TBB should end up being too much, but I did not expect Leg 1 to be where they did the damage. TBB jumped out to a commanding 59.46-point lead behind some stellar performances. The Sad Dads may be able to take the 2nd Leg but that is a steep hill to climb without two key performers. TBB sets up a date with CTB for someone’s first ever silverware.
Stats & Info
Playoff Odds
| Team | Playoff Odds |
|---|---|
| Sad Dads | 100% |
| The Bitchin’ Batgirls | 100% |
| Choking the Belichicken | 100% |
| The Funky Uncles | 100% |
| Transgender Cigs | 72.64% |
| The Portuguese Short Kings | 90.54% |
| The Violent Beauregardes | 36.19% |
| Fantasy Football Team | 0.61% |
| 9 Inch Males | 0.02% |
| ZYN Dynasty | 0% |
Week 10 Preview & Picks
vs. 
I already recapped this up there but they’re going to be too much to handle in this one even without Patrick Mahomes. CTB continue their playoff push.
vs. 
You could make an argument that this is the GOTW but that’s my fucking call. NIM are somehow sorta, kinda alive in the playoff hunt while the Funkles are battling to keep ahold of that 3 spot and even possible challenge for one of the top two spots. NIM are gonna fight like hell in this one but Funkles should be able to take care of business.
vs. 
TPSK have been this year’s surprise as they’re currently in a playoff spot while also sporting a winning record for the first time in their history (they had 11 overall wins in the last two years combined, they currently have 10 this year alone). This is all great and is a great accomplishment. TBB get the win.
vs. 
Bye week for the Sad Dads. Can’t lose on a bye but I bet ZYN Dynasty would if they had the chance.
GAME OF THE WEEK
vs. 
I picked TVB to win last week because I saw something in them. They have a nice edge to them. The cigs on the other hand have been a fucking massive disappointment. This is a battle for the last place in the yoffs. TVB are vets and know how to win in these moments while the Cigs keep pissing down their leg.
Love,
Your Beloved Commissioner
AverageFantasyFootballGuy.com 