Week 2 blog was cancelled due to the national tragedy. Here’s an abbreviated recap.
- Batgirls skullfuck the short kings
- Sad Dads obliterate ZYN Dynasty who is on track to be the worst team in league history.
- Trans Cigs get their lick back against TVB
- The Funkles edge (hot) NIM in the game of the week
- CTB continues to show life and halts FFT’s welcome party
I apologize deeply for missing the blog. I was on vacation (nightmare) down in Sea Isle (why in September) so I didn’t really have much time (I had plenty of time I just drank). Let’s dive into Week 3’s highlighted matchups.
Down With The Patriarchy
The Batgirls complete a Monday Night Miracle as they beat the Sad Dads 160.52 to 146.00
There are only two teams in Super League History who the Sad Dads have a losing record against. Those two teams would be the Nine Inch Males who they are 3-4 against and the Bitchin’ Batgirls who they are now 2-5 against! Heading into MNF, the Batgirls were going to need a pretty big performance from Lamar Jackson and Amon-Ra as they were down by 38.25 points and projected to just barely get a win. As we know, these projections can be VERY wrong so there was not a great deal of hope in the TBB camp. With about 8 minutes left in the 3rd quarter, the projection for TBB had them just eeking out a win by .59 points. Moments later, Amon-Ra scored a huge touchdown essentially setting up a victory barring a Lamar meltdown. This was always going to be a banger of a matchup and it very much delivered. Both of these teams are clearly head and shoulders above the rest from a starting 9 perspective. TBB is much thinner from a depth perspective while the Sad Dads have both the depth and the capital to add before the deadline. These two will meet again in Week 12 where each team will be missing a player each so it should be another fantastic matchup.
You’re Not That Guy, Pal… AGAIN!
The Funky Uncles best the Trans Cigs by a score of 126.62 to 110.47
The Cigs got a huge boost in Week 2 as they put in a top 2 scoring performance and felt that they were back to their winning ways and on track to compete at the level they had expected in the preseason. Unfortunately for them, their team is so God damn volatile and they once again stumbled in a matchup that was there for the taking. Carson Wentz put in a solid performance in relief of the injured Jayden Daniels but it all fell apart in the WR room. Jamaar Chase is not the same player without Joe Burrow, Malik Nabers is going to have to kill Russell Wilson or just run aimlessly 50 yards down field to become productive again and Marvin Harrison is a mental fucking midget. However, there honestly is still a light at the end of the tunnel. Their RB room is very solid, and they left some points on the bench. Enough about the losers, let’s chat about the winners. The Funkles had to take the field without Burrow as Jordan Love’s name was called. Instead of answering the call, Jordan showed up drunk and played like ass as the Packers lost to the fucking Cleveland Browns. In the end, that didn’t matter much as the RB room carried a lot of the load on their shoulders as Vikings RB1 Jordan Mason, Kyren Williams and Achane combined for 62.6 pts (almost half of the team’s total point outlay). It was also nice to see AJ Brown get back to his ways with a dominant performance. I do think the Funkles got lucky as they tried to make some cheeky roster selections and left some points on the bench. Both teams are playoff teams. Nothing more, nothing less. Garvey – you’re simply not that fucking guy.
2025 SCS Week 3 Rankings
| Rank | Team | Points | Trend |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls | 1933.72 | ↑1 |
| 2 | Sad Dads | 1672.10 | ↓1 |
| 3 | Fantasy Football Team | 1268.37 | ↑1 |
| 4 | Choking the Belichicken | 1222.70 | ↑3 |
| 5 | Transgender Cigarettes | 999.84 | ↑3 |
| 6 | The Funky Uncles | 944.86 | ↑3 |
| 7 | 9 Inch Males | 936.67 | ↓2 |
| 8 | The Violent Beauregardes | 876.75 | ↓5 |
| 9 | The Portuguese Short Kings | 816.77 | ↓3 |
| 10 | ZYN Dynasty | 444.80 | ↔ |
2025 Week 3 Coaches Poll
| Rank | Team | Avg. Rank | Trend |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls (4) | 1.00 | ↑1 |
| 2 | Sad Dads | 2.00 | ↓1 |
| 3 | Fantasy Football Team | 3.25 | ↑1 |
| 4 | Transgender Cigarettes | 4.75 | ↑2 |
| 5 | The Funky Uncles | 5.25 | ↔ |
| 6 | Choking the Belichicken | 5.75 | ↑3 |
| 7 | 9 Inch Males | 6.00 | ↓4 |
| 8 | The Violent Beauregardes | 8.00 | ↓1 |
| 9 | The Portuguese Short Kings | 9.00 | ↔ |
| 10 | ZYN Dynasty | 10.00 | ↔ |
2025 Loser List as of Week 3
| TEAM | WEEKS THEY WERE A LOSER | LEAGUE FUND MONEY |
|---|---|---|
| ZYN Dynasty | Weeks 1 thru 3 | $15 |
The Return of Stats & Info!
RUNNING BACK AVERAGE AS OF WEEK 3
| RANK | TEAM | AVG |
| 1 | Sad Dads | 20.08 |
| 2 | Choking The Belichicken | 18.56 |
| 3 | The Funky Uncles | 17.29 |
WIDE RECEIVER AVERAGE AS OF WEEK 3
| RANK | TEAM | AVG |
| 1 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls | 17.73 |
| 2 | Transgender Cigs | 12.52 |
| 3 | The Violent Beauregardes | 11.72 |
TIGHT END AVERAGE AS OF WEEK 3
| RANK | TEAM | AVG |
| 1 | The Funky Uncles | 12.85 |
| 2 | The Portuguese Short Kings | 11.92 |
| 3 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls | 11.82 |
Week 4 Preview & Picks
Record to Date: 8-2
vs. 
They don’t deserve any more than this sentence. Gross organization. TBB in a fucking bloodbath.
vs. 
I think it’s pretty poetic that the expansion team, who inherited the [Redacted]’s roster, would prove to be a legit playoff contender through three weeks. FFT has introduced themselves to the league in pretty impressive fashion boasting a 4-2 record with 380.51 PF which puts them third in both of those categories. TPSK have not been great but they are not ZYN Dynasty bad. It shouldn’t matter much. FFT keep the momentum going and get the win.
vs. 
CTB have started the season off hot while the Trans Cigs are in a weird situation. CTB have some very soft matchups this week while the Cigs are once again coming up against some stout defenses. That being said, I predict that this back and forth nature of the Cigs will be a theme throughout the season. Trans Cigs get back to winning ways though CTB won’t make it easy.
vs.
The Males off-season decisions are causing them some issues and their roster of brittle old men is finally showing its’ teeth. TVB are in a rebuild (kind of) but have the firepower to compete depending on the situation. It’s not a sexy game by any means but NIM should be able to take care of business.
GAME OF THE WEEK
vs. 
I have finally given the Sad Dads their much-deserved star for their Championship victory last year and it comes at a fitting time as this is a rematch of said game. I don’t recall if I made this public information last year but prior to the beginning of Championship week, these two absolute spinless cowards reached out to me to tell me that they would be splitting the pot no matter what. That is fucking chickenshit fantasy football and something that this league frowns upon. Please don’t ever reach out to me to do that. Just do that shit behind closed doors. It’s disgusting. Anyway, this is really the only good matchup this week. The injury bug has unfortunately hit the Funkles at a bad time as Mike Evans appears to at least be out for a few weeks. The Sad Dads will be looking to get back to winning ways, but they have some very challenging matchups. I expect this one to be really tight. Sad Dads rebound after last week’s crushing loss.
I think this was a pretty decent blog that I got out in a relatively timely manner. I also still have time to do my job which is cool. Bye now.
Love,
Your Beloved Commissioner
AverageFantasyFootballGuy.com 