The curse has been broken. After two straight years of lower seeds dominating the first round, the higher seeds have finally prevailed. Let’s dive into the two first round matchups.
Glad Dads Finally Win
The Sad Dads broke their two-year streak of losing their first playoff game by knocking off pesky ZYN Dynasty. ZYN Dynasty’s loss ends their insanely odd season that saw them get an unexpected playoff bid. This now brings their playoff record to a resounding 0-3 and ends the 5th seed surge of the past two years. They are the FIRST 5-seed to ever lose a game. Fucking losers. In truth, this matchup kind of sucked. The Sad Dads rode their WR group for what feels like the first time all-season. Brock Purdy’s disastrous TNF performance put them in a hole but luckily, they were up against an even worse team who relies on one fucking player every week. The league as a whole can breathe a sigh of relief as Josh Allen is no longer in the playoffs.
Funkin’ VIBING
The Funkles continued their tear in round 1 by absolutely dismantling the Spicy Boys. The result also ended their two-year streak of losing their first playoff game and helped improve their DOMINANT record over the Spicy Boys. After a slow start on TNF, they were able to get back on track behind some impressive WR performances. Joey B continues to be extremely dominant helping the team tremendously. The Spicy Boys will be upset with the result, but they are now one of only 3 teams to have a .500 or better record in the playoffs. Unfortunately, their mid-season trade for Travis Kelce & Deebo Samuel did not work out. The Boys put up a good fight to get into the playoffs but they just didn’t have enough juice.
Semi-Final Preview & Picks
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#1 NIM vs. #4 Sad Dads
- ALL-TIME SERIES: NIM lead the series 5-2.
- NIM averages 151.67 pts in this series while the Sad Dads average 144.96 pts
- PLAYOFF RECORD: NIM is 3-1 in the playoffs while the Sad Dads are 1-2.
- NIM defeated the Sad Dads in the 2023-2024 Semi-Finals
- STRENGTH OF SCHEDULE:
- NIM played (8) playoff teams and had a record of 7-1 in those matchups.
- The only loss was to the Sad Dads
- Sad Dads played (9) playoff teams and had a record of 4-5 in those matchups.
- NIM played (8) playoff teams and had a record of 7-1 in those matchups.
PREVIEW & PICK: A rematch of last year’s semi-finals, however this time the roles are reversed.
QB: This is a sore subject for the Sad Dads as they HAVE to feel that the guy on the other side should be on their team. There is very little to discuss here. The Sad Dads have dealt with a QB carousel all-season as Purdy & Herbert have been incredibly hard to trust on a week to week basis. NIM have Hurts. It’s not much of a conversation. NIM have a considerable edge here, though Hurts is up against a team that resulted in a QB15 performance.
RB: A much tighter area as both teams have relied heavily on the running back position. The Sad Dads lead the league this year in RB average while NIM were in 2nd. Both teams have incredible RB rooms as the Sad Dads have 3 top 15 RBs (RB1, RB5 & RB14) while NIM have 4 (RB2, RB6, RB8 & RB15). It’s a pretty tight matchup here, especially considering NIM also have RB16 in Breece Hall as well. NIM’s RBs have some tougher matchups this week and Kamara’s potential absence could be an issue. Sad Dads have the edge here but not by much.
WR: Both teams have had WRs as an afterthought for most of the year but still have some firepower despite that. The Sad Dads have 2 top-10 WRs (WR6 & WR9) while NIM have 1 (WR10). However, NIM have considerably more depth with the likes of Kupp, Hill, Shakir, McConkey, Adams & Jeudy being a viable option any week. The Sad Dads have been helped tremendously by Brian Thomas’ fantastic rookie season. Selection of which WRs to play will be NIM’s biggest decision to make this week. NIM have a minor edge that you could literally call a tie.
TE: NIM have TE1 in the year in rookie sensation Brock Bowers while the Sad Dads have been bouncing different TEs around all year as Hockenson recovered from injury. Hockenson has struggled to truly revive his recent years’ form but has a soft matchup this week. Bowers, on the other hand, continues to be on absolute fire. However, Desmond Ridder has clearly damaged his abilities though it appears that AOC may be back this week. NIM have a considerable edge.
THE VERDICT: This should be a battle. An insanely tight split of the regular season series sees the semi-final as the rubber match. NIM’s biggest headache will be deciding who to start as they have the depth advantage. NIM get the job done in a battle for the ages.
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#2 The Bitchin’ Batgirls vs. #3 The Funky Uncles
- ALL-TIME SERIES: The series is split 2-2.
- TBB average 143.19 pts in this series while the Funkles average 115.28 pts
- PLAYOFF RECORD: Funkles are 2-2 in the playoffs while TBB are 0-1.
- TBB‘s only playoff game was a loss in the 2023-2024 1st Round to the Funkles.
- STRENGTH OF SCHEDULE:
- The Funkles played (7) playoff teams and had a record of 2-5 in those matchups.
- TBB played (8) playoff teams and had a record of 6-2 in those matchups.
PREVIEW & PICK: This has turned into one of the better, unlikely rivalries in the league. The Funkles are making their THIRD straight Semi-Final appearance, an impressive feat that no other team can claim. They are, in my opinion, the favorite to win. Their QB play continues to be incredibly consistent & their balance of RBs & WRs has been impressive.
QB: Both teams have incredibly strong Quarterbacks. Lamar is currently QB1 while Joe Burrow is QB3. They’re two ELITE options that give their teams a chance to win. Though Lamar is without a doubt the better asset & performer on the year, his difficult matchup in Week 16 against the Steelers makes this a lot closer than it normally would be. Burrow has a tough matchup as well though. Slight edge to Lamar & TBB.
RB: RB room is not as close. The Funkles currently have 3 top 15 RBs (RB7, RB9 & RB11) while TBB only has 1 (RB12). The Funkles got massive help throughout the season from Jordan Mason and have some nice insulation with Guerendo as he stepped into the spotlight. TBB have rode the coattails of Chase Brown for a majority of the season while KWIII has provided some decent weeks. Truthfully, Rachaad White has been a bright spot considering he lost his job yet has produced double digit points every week since week 5. Funkles have the edge in this area, boasting the league’s 2nd highest RB average on the year.
WR: Both teams have strong WR rooms. TBB posted a league-leading 14.96 average while the Funkles did a great job of adding WR talent before the deadline in the form of AJ Brown & Mike Evans. TBB currently has WR2 & WR3 on the season while Puka is at WR25 and missed a majority of the year. The Funkles, on the other hand, have two top 15 guys in Drake London (WR8) & AJ Brown (WR15). The Funkles have some unknowns this week as AJ Brown left Sunday’s game with a minor injury while Drake London will be catching passes from a new QB. TBB have the better core trio.
TE: Another EXTREMELY close area. The Funkles went and added George Kittle at the deadline who has been a monster. He is currently TE2 on the year and actually TE1 on a points per game basis. TBB have the ever-consistent TE3 in Trey McBride who has been a machine despite have 0 receiving TDs on the year. This is as equal of a match-up as it gets. Funkles get the slight edge as Kittle has been on fire when healthy.
THE VERDICT: This should be the championship. I know, NIM were great all year and put up the best regular season record but on paper, this is an INSANE matchup. I think it’s going to be insanely tight, but the Funkles have had my number when it’s mattered and I am SO scared of Lamar having a bad week. Funkles move on to the final.
Signing off,
Your Beloved Commissioner
AverageFantasyFootballGuy.com 