What a fucking final week. The highest scoring week by far this year as the top 3 scores on the year occurred. We almost got the highest all-time score as well. No game recaps this week. TPSK buried the Trans Cigs and helped the Spicy Boys get into the dance. Just remember that Spicy Boys… Without TPSK, you are not in the playoffs.
SCS Week 14 Rankings
| Rank | Team | Points | Trend |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 9 Inch Males | 7788.92 | ↔ |
| 2 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls | 7534.85 | ↔ |
| 3 | Sad Dads | 6614.19 | ↔ |
| 4 | The Funky Uncles | 6333.75 | ↔ |
| 5 | ZYN Dynasty | 5035.14 | ↑2 |
| 6 | Transgender Cigs | 4706.37 | ↓1 |
| 7 | Spicy Boys | 4510.49 | ↓1 |
| 8 | The Violent Beauregardes | 4145.93 | ↔ |
| 9 | Choking the Belichicken | 3943.87 | ↔ |
| 10 | The Portuguese Short Kings | 3514.16 | ↔ |
Coaches Poll Week 14 Rankings
| Rank | Team | Avg. Rank | Trend |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls (3) | 1.25 | ↑1 |
| 2 | Nine Inch Males (1) | 1.75 | ↓1 |
| 3 | The Funky Uncles | 3.50 | ↔ |
| 4 | Sad Dads | 3.75 | ↔ |
| 5 | ZYN Dynasty | 5.00 | ↑3 |
| 6 | Spicy Boys | 6.00 | ↓1 |
| 7 | Transgender Cigs | 7.00 | ↓1 |
| 8 | The Violent Beauregardes | 7.75 | ↓1 |
| 9 | Choking the Belichicken | 9.25 | ↔ |
| 10 | The Portuguese Short Kings | 9.75 | ↔ |
Stats & Info
A Record-Breaking Year
- NIM‘s 24-4 overall record is the best finish in Super League History
- NIM’s 12-2 matchup record is the best in Super League History
- TBB’s 13-1 median record is the best in Super League History
2024 REGULAR SEASON TOP SCORES
| RANK | TEAM | SCORE |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls – Week 14 [#2 All-Time] | 215.25 |
| 2 | ZYN Dynasty – Week 14 [#9 All-Time] | 195.33 |
| 3 | Nine Inch Males – Week 14 | 175.87 |
| 4 | Sad Dads – Week 9 | 174.40 |
| 5 | ZYN Dynasty – Week 8 | 173.32 |
| 6 | Nine Inch Males – Week 9 | 171.75 |
| 7 | Funkles – Week 5 | 171.43 |
| 8 | Nine Inch Males – Week 2 | 167.05 |
| 9 | Spicy Boys – Week 13 | 165.45 |
| 10 | Nine Inch Males – Week 11 | 163.09 |
WEEKLY RECORD AGAINST ALL TEAMS
| RANK | TEAM | TOTAL RECORD |
|---|---|---|
| T1 | Nine Inch Males The Bitchin’ Batgirls | 97-29 |
| 3 | Sad Dads | 86-40 |
| 4 | The Funky Uncles | 78-48 |
| 5 | ZYN Dynasty | 54-72 |
| T6 | Spicy Boys Transgender Cigs | 53-73 |
| 8 | The Violent Beauregardes | 42-84 |
| 9 | Choking the Belichicken | 38-88 |
| 10 | The Portuguese Short Kings | 32-94 |
RUNNING BACK PPG – REGULAR SEASON
| RANK | TEAM | PPG |
| 1 | Sad Dads | 19.64 |
| 2 | Funkles | 17.67 |
| 3 | Nine Inch Males | 17.46 |
WIDE RECEIVER PPG – REGULAR SEASON
| RANK | TEAM | PPG |
| 1 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls | 14.96 |
| 2 | ZYN Dynasty | 13.75 |
| 3 | Spicy Boys | 12.28 |
TIGHT END PPG – REGULAR SEASON
| RANK | TEAM | PPG |
| 1 | Nine Inch Males | 12.91 |
| 2 | Choking the Belichicken | 12.73 |
| 3 | ZYN Dynasty | 11.98 |
Loser List as of Week 14
| TEAM | WEEKS THEY WERE A LOSER | LEAGUE FUND MONEY |
|---|---|---|
| Funkles | Week 1 | $5 |
| The Violent Beauregardes | Week 2, Week 3, Week 7, Week 8 | $20 |
| ZYN Dynasty | Week 4 | $5 |
| Trans Cigs | Week 5 | $5 |
| Choking the Belichicken | Week 6, Week 10, Week 14 | $15 |
| Spicy Boys | Week 9 | $5 |
| TPSK | Week 11, Week 12, Week 13 | $15 |
Round 1 Playoff Preview & Picks
vs
#4 Sad Dads vs. #5 ZYN Dynasty
- ALL-TIME SERIES: Sad Dads lead the series 3-2.
- Sad Dads average 142.94 pts in this series while ZYN Dynasty average 137.58 pts
- PLAYOFF RECORD: Both teams are 0-2 all-time in the playoffs.
- STRENGTH OF SCHEDULE:
- ZYN Dynasty played (8) playoff teams and had a record of 3-5 in those matchups.
- Sad Dads played (9) playoff teams and had a record of 4-5 in those matchups.
PREVIEW & PICK: ZYN Dynasty have absolutely shocked the world by appearing in this year’s playoffs. At the deadline, they were doing everything in their power to offload as much talent as possible but in the end, they kept just enough to punch their ticket to their third consecutive playoff appearance. As is tradition, the team on the other side of the line has had a completely different mantra during the 2024 season. The Sad Dads came into the year as a built contender once again. They’ve qualified for their third straight playoffs as well but will be upset that they took a step back in 2024. Their offseason acquisition of Saquon Barkley has turned out to be a massive win for the team but lack of consistent QB play and middling WR performances has kept them from reaching their previous heights. Their slight stumble towards the end of the year also saw them slip into the 4 spot.
This battle a month ago would have been an easy decision as ZYN Dynasty did not look like much of a threat to really anyone. However, over the last few weeks, they have shown a real fight which has mostly come from the insane performances of Josh Allen & Jamaar Chase. Those two are quite literally the scariest players to see on the other side in the playoffs. Despite this, there is just not enough there for ZYN Dynasty. The Sad Dads are the better team and should be able to get the job done. However, the threat of a monstrous game from Allen or Chase is always present. Sad Dads in an absolute THRILLER.
vs
#3 The Funky Uncles vs. #6 Spicy Boys
- ALL-TIME SERIES: The Funkles have dominated and lead the series 5-1.
- Funkles average 148.38 pts in this series while the Spicy Boys average 122.30 pts
- PLAYOFF RECORD: Funkles are 1-2 while the Spicy Boys are 2-1 and have a championship appearance.
- STRENGTH OF SCHEDULE:
- The Funkles played (7) playoff teams and had a record of 2-5 in those matchups.
- Spicy Boys played (6) playoff teams and had a record of 1-5 in those matchups.
PREVIEW & PICK: The Funkles have been the biggest shock of 2024. While they came into the season well-equipped to be a playoff team, their emergence as a contender was definitely unexpected. They were beneficiaries of some INSANE luck with CMC’s long-term injury suddenly catapulting Jordan Mason into the fold. Early season fortunes allowed them to push for a year of contending and sees them now enter the playoffs as the 3 seed. Joe Burrow’s prolific form with steady RB play has been the driving force behind the Funkles’ fantastic 2024 season. Their opponents, the Spicy Boys, had another interesting season as they flirted with tanking but eventually made the decision to push for the playoffs. Their roster is incredibly solid as they have very few holes at really any position. Despite not having “star” names, they have a formidable group of running backs & WRs that have allowed them to compete in 2024.
This is a really funky one. On big names alone, the Funkles are the OBVIOUS choice. However, the Spicy Boys are frisky and have shown an ability to put-up big-time scores on any given week. The Funkles got off to a slower start after TNF as they missed their projections by a combined 7 points. They also have some tough defensive matchups while the Spicy Boys have a really soft matchup pool. Bucky Irving’s availability will be CRUCIAL. If you know me, you know I’m a fucking Spicy Boys’ guy. Spicy Boys in an upset.
Signing off,
Your Beloved Commissioner
AverageFantasyFootballGuy.com 