An exciting Week 12 saw us have multiple matchups up for grabs heading into MNF. There were some upsets, some near upsets, and some further disappointment for playoff-hopeful teams. The standings saw little shifting, but the playoff picture continues to get clearer. Let’s dive into it.
Violet Gets a Victory
I naively made this my least exciting game of the week, and it of course turned out to be one of the best matchups of the week. TVB pulled off a stunner against TBB, putting a significant dent in TBB’s quest for the #1 seed and the Commissioner’s Cup. TVB’s week was really reliant on a few specific performers. Their WR room put in a shift with Waddle, JSN, DJ Moore & CD combining for a whopping 82.8 pts (approximately 60% of their points). Caleb’s incredible showing (QB4 on the week) added further cushion as TVB held a comfortable lead heading into MNF. Lamar Jackson put up as much of a fight as he could but to TBB’s dismay, the Ravens controlled large portions of this game, hurting Lamar’s ability to put up the 11 additional points they needed to get the double win. While the loss hurts the ability to gain ground on NIM after their concurrent slip-up, the median win will be a worth consolation prize as TBB pushes towards a coveted first round bye.
Cigs Get Lit
The TCs had a massive get back week after struggling severely over the last month. The Cigs had lost their last 6 (overall) and were in danger of missing out on the playoffs despite their blistering start. Luckily, their fortunes have flipped after a dominant week 12 performance. The TCs got production from all over with Jayden Daniels’ QB2 performance, Gibbs’ 2 TD Day and Courtland Sutton’s sudden resurgence. The Cigs also had 3 players have identical outputs of 10.4 pts which is fucking bizarre. They’re now in poll position to grab one of the final two playoff spots but will have a major test in Week 13 against another playoff foe. CTB did not get much from their starters this week as Mahomes & Josh Jacobs accounted for over 50% of their points. They are in tank mode and will not be losing any sleep over this result.
Median Miss
The Spicy Boys’ tumultuous season continued in Week 12 as they got a much-needed win while just barely missing out on a median one. Their record improved (though it’s kind of a wash) to 10-14. Despite still being very much alive in the playoff picture, they are currently 3-9 against the median (tied with two other teams for 2nd worst in the league). They have been beneficiaries of the bottom half schedule and currently have the lowest PF and lowest PA amongst the three playoff teams battling it out. Production was extremely modest overall for the Spicy Boys in Week 12 as Kyler Murray had a shit performance and many of their key acquisition’s kind of sucked. TPSK on the other hand continues their incredible charge for the worst record in regular season history.
A Win Against ZYN But Not The Median
NIM came into MNF needing Derek Henry to keep up his insane pace in 2024 and Ladd McConkey to just put in a modest performance. Unfortunately, both slightly underperformed their projections resulting in a mixed bag for Week 12. While they were able to get the matchup result against ZYN Dynasty, they missed out on a median win, leaving the door open in the race for 1st place. They were missing some key contributors in Alvin Kamara and Breece Hall who they will be happy to see return in Week 13. However, ZYN Dynasty had to start fucking Cooper Rush so the fact that this game was close is a bit damning. Overall, they’ll be glad they were able to secure a result and are still in the running for the all-time best regular season record.
Gnarls Barkley Goes Crazy
As mentioned in the preview last week, this matchup was riddled with bye weeks that could have severely damaged its’ ability to be a true game of the week. However, this matchup absolutely delivered. Heading into MNF, the Sad Dads seemed like they had an insurmountable hill to climb despite having an edge in remaining players. To their delight, Saquon Barkley put on a historical performance, giving the Sad Dads a massive opportunity to pull off the comeback win against their bitter rivals. Despite QJ’s goose egg on MNF, Herbert’s early 1st Qtr touchdown and modest production thereafter was enough to secure maybe their biggest win of the season. The Funkles will be frustrated with the result as this was a massive opportunity for them to take ownership of 3rd place. Despite the tough loss, they were able to snatch a median win and keep themselves in contention for the 3rd spot.
SCS Week 12 Rankings
| Rank | Team | Points | Trend |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 9 Inch Males | 6549.23 | ↔ |
| 2 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls | 6289.82 | ↔ |
| 3 | Sad Dads | 5753.59 | ↔ |
| 4 | The Funky Uncles | 5123.40 | ↔ |
| 5 | Transgender Cigs | 4322.61 | ↑1 |
| 6 | ZYN Dynasty | 4173.92 | ↓1 |
| 7 | Spicy Boys | 3849.45 | ↔ |
| 8 | The Violent Beauregardes | 3446.15 | ↑1 |
| 9 | Choking the Belichicken | 3411.65 | ↓1 |
| 10 | The Portuguese Short Kings | 2892.56 | ↔ |
Coaches Poll Week 12 Rankings
| Rank | Team | Avg. Rank | Trend |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 9 Inch Males (2) | 1.33 | ↔ |
| 2 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls (1) | 1.67 | ↔ |
| 3 | Sad Dads | 3.00 | ↔ |
| 4 | The Funky Uncles | 4.00 | ↓1 |
| 5 | Transgender Cigs | 5.33 | ↑1 |
| 6 | ZYN Dynasty | 5.67 | ↓1 |
| 7 | Spicy Boys | 7.33 | ↔ |
| 8 | The Violent Beauregardes | 8.00 | ↔ |
| 9 | Choking the Belichicken | 8.67 | ↓1 |
| 10 | The Portuguese Short Kings | 10.00 | ↔ |
Stats & Info
Playoff Odds (According to the Computer)
Significant Changes:
- NIM’s odds of securing the 1 seed have increased
- Sad Dad’s odds of securing the 3 seed have increased
- Trans Cigs & ZYN Dynasty’s odds have flipped for the 5th spot
- Spicy Boys are in trouble
Loser List as of Week 12
| TEAM | WEEKS THEY WERE A LOSER | LEAGUE FUND MONEY |
|---|---|---|
| Funkles | Week 1 | $5 |
| The Violent Beauregardes | Week 2, Week 3, Week 7, Week 8 | $20 |
| ZYN Dynasty | Week 4 | $5 |
| Trans Cigs | Week 5 | $5 |
| Choking the Belichicken | Week 6, Week 10 | $10 |
| Spicy Boys | Week 9 | $5 |
| TPSK | Week 11, Week 12 | $10 |
Week 13 Preview & Picks
vs. 
They’re on a historically bad run and they don’t want that to end apparently. TBB in a bloodbath unless something insane happens.
vs. 
A perfect get right matchup for the Funkles. CTB are simply no match for the Funkles. Funkles return to form.
vs. 
ZYN Dynasty need the result here as they continue their extremely confusing push for a playoff spot. TVB showed some teeth last week but lightning rarely strikes twice. Until it does.. TVB.
CO-GAME OF THE WEEK
vs.
A MASSIVE match-up and arguably more important than the game below. The Spicy Boys have absolutely no choice but to get the double win this week. The Cigs, on the other hand, can clinch themselves a place in the playoffs with just 1 win. This matchup is heavily contingent on JK Dobbins’ health as the Cigs would barely be able to fill out a lineup if he is out. Spicy Boys keep the dream alive.
CO-GAME OF THE WEEK
vs.
NIM will be looking to avenge one of their few losses this season in this one. Once again, they are beneficiaries of some insanely soft matchups. However, whenever Saquon is involved, there is hope to be had. Right now, the projections are off due to Ameer Abdullah being in John’s lineup and I think this one will be a lot closer than currently shown. Kamara’s projections continue to be fucking ridiculous (he’s 4/11 on the season but for some reason he’s project 22+ every week). Despite all of the words above, it’s going to be impossible to not pick the favorite here. NIM likely lock-up the top seed, top scorer and commissioner’s cup.
Signing off,
Your Beloved Commissioner
AverageFantasyFootballGuy.com 