The lowest scoring week in Super League History. Absolutely gross week of offensive football. And by that, I mean the football was simply offensive. Aside from the Ravens/Bucs game, most games were just absolute poop fest blowouts. Very bad. Very not demure.
The “Fuck, I Won” Bowl
A battle between two of the bottom feeders was as shitty as you might expect. I don’t even really want to write much about it as it kinda sucked. The TEs were probably the best performers for both teams. I don’t know. I don’t care. And honestly, neither do they!
The Proud Boys vs. The Stroud Boys
Jalen Hurts got revenge against his former team this week as NIM absolutely destroyed the reeling short kings. TPSK was able to grab an unneeded median win which is exciting. NIM continue their reign of terror behind some stellar RB performers while their WR group continues to underwhelm. Amari Cooper looked very good for the Bills while Tyreek Hill continues to suck ass without Tua. However, NIM will soon be getting back Cooper Kupp while Tua is rumored to be returning this week. They are a stellar team but have shown a bit of tapering off over the past few weeks. They still have yet to finish a week outside the median. Better yet, they’ve yet to have a week where they even finished outside of the Top 4.
The Lowest Scoring Game Ever Recorded
This was absolutely gross. And to be honest, you can’t even blame injuries for why this was so gross. It’s without a doubt the lowest scoring game in league history. TVB had one fucking player with over double digits while the TCs had 2 players with a combined -.40 points. The TCs started off so hot but have completely reverted back to what I think they have been this whole time. The league has never been so top heavy so they absolutely will make the playoffs but Jesus Christ they are prone to an absolute stinker on any given week. TVB on the other hand continue to be incredibly fucking bad. They have finished as the worst team 3 times so far this year and have only 2 median wins. They are arguably the worst team in the league. An INSANE flip from this time last year.
It Wasn’t Purdy, But It Was A Win
It was a weird fucking week scoring wise and this matchup was no different. Sad Dads had Devonta Smith who posted a nice -.20 while the Spicy Boys marched out Deebo Samuel who got sick. I think? Overall, the Sad Dads will be more than happy with their win as their RB room continues to carry a massive load for them. Their RBs are currently accounting for an insane 44.3% of their points and lead the league with an average of 19.71 pts/RB. A stellar group. Brian Thomas continues to show out as an elite Dynasty WR as well. They’ll be happy to see that Garrett Wilson was able to get some production despite the new addition of Davante Adams. The Spicy Boys rolled out their signature two TE look but unfortunately it was not enough. If Deebo and Monty had not gotten hurt/sick, this may have been a closer matchup. Hell, Spicy Boys may have been able to grab a median win.
They Got a Fast Lamar
TBB cruised to their 4th straight matchup victory and 9th straight overall victory as they dismantled the Funkles behind a huge Monday Night Football output. Lamar Jackson’s MVP form has been a massive boost to a team who has been without their star RB in CMC. Despite starting off the year 0-2, they have fired their way back up the standings to the #2 spot. In the lowest scoring week in Super League History, they were still able to put up a Top 5 output this year (#4). Their form has been sensational as of late. The Funkles on the other hand had a pretty solid week but were killed by Tank Dell’s goose egg. Despite the matchup loss, they were able to grab a vital median win which helps them keep their #4 spot.
SCS Week 7 Rankings
| Rank | Team | Points | Trend |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 9 Inch Males | 3992.37 | ↔ |
| 2 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls | 3603.62 | ↑1 |
| 3 | Sad Dads | 3565.15 | ↓1 |
| 4 | The Funky Uncles | 3054.03 | ↔ |
| 5 | Transgender Cigs | 2463.87 | ↔ |
| 6 | Spicy Boys | 2136.82 | ↔ |
| 7 | The Portuguese Short Kings | 1904.12 | ↑2 |
| 8 | The Violent Beauregardes | 1864.31 | ↓1 |
| 9 | Choking the Belichicken | 1844.69 | ↓1 |
| 10 | ZYN Dynasty | 1799.25 | ↔ |
Coaches Poll Week 7 Rankings
| Rank | Team | Avg. Rank | Trend |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls (2) | 1.33 | ↑1 |
| 2 | 9 Inch Males (1) | 2.00 | ↓1 |
| 3 | Sad Dads | 2.67 | ↔ |
| 4 | The Funky Uncles | 4.00 | ↔ |
| 5 | Spicy Boys | 5.33 | ↑1 |
| 6 | Transgender Cigs | 5.67 | ↓1 |
| 7 | The Violent Beauregardes | 7.00 | ↑1 |
| 8 | The Portuguese Short Kings | 8.00 | ↓1 |
| 9 | Choking the Belichicken | 9.33 | ↔ |
| 10 | ZYN Dynasty | 9.67 | ↔ |
The 2024 Zyn Cup – Round 1 Recap & QF Preview
Some dog shit games in round 1 that are literally not even worth recapping..
Quarterfinal Matchups – Winners go to the Semi-Final Draw [Two Leg Matchups]
- The Portuguese Short Kings vs. The Violent Beauregardes: TPSK should be able to keep their magical run going against the lowly TVB.
- Spicy Boys vs. Nine Inch Males: NIM are an absolute fucking wagon. It will take a miracle for the defending champs to come CLOSE to knocking them off their perch in this contest.
- ZYN Dynasty vs. The Bitchin’ Batgirls: ZYN Dynasty is tanking, and they are not afraid to show it. TBB on the other hand doesn’t have a single player on a bye. TBB march on to the semi-finals.
- Sad Dads vs. The Funky Uncles: Very easily the best matchup of the opening round. The Funkles are looking great on paper and have some soft matchups. I’m going to go Funkles on this one.
Stats & Info as of Week 7 – Mid-Season Comparison
Some interesting trends below. NIM and the TCs are the only teams present in the positive differential for all three comparisons.
Comparison #1: 2023 Matchup Standings vs. 2024 Matchup Standings
Comparison #2: 2023 Median Standings vs. 2024 Median Standings
Comparison #3: 2023 Overall Standings vs. 2024 Overall Standings
Mid-Season Inconsequential Awards
Manager of the Mid-Year: The Bitchin Batgirls were definitely an option here, but the team of the year so far sits at 13-1 so to not give them this would be disingenuous.
GM of the Mid-Year: Incredible draft choices and roster management has seen them go from zero to less of a zero as they still kind of suck, but they are definitely the most improved.
Rookie of the Mid-Year: What a start to life in the NFL for the boy… Great pick considering ARich has been a disaster.
Hot Seat of the Mid-Year: Just a fucking bizarre downfall from the former regular season champion.
Stats & Info
Loser List as of Week 7
| TEAM | WEEKS THEY WERE A LOSER | LEAGUE FUND MONEY |
|---|---|---|
| Funkles | Week 1 | $5 |
| The Violent Beauregardes | Week 2, Week 3, Week 7 | $15 |
| ZYN Dynasty | Week 4 | $5 |
| Trans Cigs | Week 5 | $5 |
| Choking the Belichicken | Week 6 | $5 |
Week 8 Preview & Picks
vs. 
TBB has some fucking brutal matchups, this week but they should be okay against the lowly CTB. TBB get a result.
vs. 
The Sad Dads will look to get some big output from their star RBs and could have JT available. Sad Dads comfortably handle business.
vs. 
If the rumors are true and Tua & Kupp are back, this is going to be a fucking bloodbath. Even if they are unavailable, this is still going to be very easy. NIM cruise.
vs.
The Spicy Boys have some brutal matchups this week, but ZYN Dynasty has completely given up. Spicy Boys get back in the win column.
vs.
The Funkles have to be buzzing with this shit show coming to town. This should be an absolute blowout. Funkles absolutely ROLL.
GAME OF THE WEEK
These games are all so fucking bad that none of them are worthy as being deemed GOTW.
Signing off,
Your Beloved Commissioner
AverageFantasyFootballGuy.com 