I totally fucking bailed on last week. I was busy at work, and I realized I have set the expectations entirely too high with these fucking blogs. When I started doing these, my life was VERY different. My job was different. The amount of free time I had was different. That being said, I am not going to bail on the blog as a whole. I would never do that to Super League nation. However, I am going to have to cut back on the amount of effort I put into these. I know all 2 of you who read this are probably devastated but you’ll get over it.
CRAZY FUCKING NOTE AFTER THE FIRST TWO WEEKS: There was not a single regular season week last year where every matchup winner ALSO finished with a median win. So far this year, EVERY matchup winner has finished with a median win… Kind of wild.
BatBitch Is Back (For The Moment)
After a really fucking bad week 1, the Batgirls finally got out of the gates against a very formidable opponent. The injury bug has hit the Batgirls early with CMC likely to miss significant time. The depth that the team had last year would have been able to withstand a few key players out but under their current build, an injury to any RB is going to be killer. The three headed monster that is the JeffeLambRown finally put up the points that many expected of them while Mark Andrews got back on track (kind of). Trey McBride continues to look excellent while a brewing QB controversy between Baker & Lamar may be on the cards. The Sad Dads had a tough week as WR production was less than stellar and the Isiah experiment is Likely to be an inconsistent dart throw each week. In the end, the Dads will be just fine and can’t read too much into this loss.
Significantly More Than 9 Inches
This was an absolute fucking bloodbath. If I had wrote a blog last week this no doubt would have been my game of the week. In the end, it was probably the worst game of the week. Not only did they get raped, but TVB suffered another MASSIVE injury blow as Pacheco will now be joining Puka on the long-term IR list. NIM on the other hand may be a fucking wagon. Their receivers may not be very good, but their RB room is off the charts (Kamara did carry ALOT of the load this week) and they may very well have the #1 TE in the dynasty format. Bowers is a freak who gets targets like a slot receiver. An injury to Kupp may spell some trouble moving forward but their bench should have enough weapons to handle his absence.
Transgender AND Transcendent
Week 1 was not a blip. The Trans Cigs are fucking good. Their RBs are not but it may not matter. They’re young, they’re good enough now, AND they have the capital to make moves as the season progresses. I am stunned at how wrong I was. The Cigs are here. And they are here to fucking stay. Not only are they 4-0 to start the season but they have the advantage of playing a bottom half schedule. ZYN Dynasty on the other hand is starting to show their age. Travis Kelce is not the same (should have traded him when you had the chance). Chase is so overrated (told you). Deebo is about to be out for a few weeks. Oh AND you have the worst bench in the league. ZYN Dynasty may not even be a playoff team this year…
Not Looking Funkin Good
Coming into the season, I thought TPSK might actually be pretty good. They had the QB. Their WRs were a nice mix of young and veteran talent. And it appeared that their RBs could maybe do enough… So far though, that is not the case at all. Their lack of depth is brutal. Kincaid has struggled MIGHTILY and last week was so bad that they had to start fucking Justice Hill. There is still a lot of hope for them in the future, but it does not appear that they are going to be able to do much of anything in this campaign. The Funkles on the other hand have been a bit of a surprise
Spiceless
CTB got carried by their top players as Jacobs, Cook, Adams & Kittle accounted for a large majority of their points. Mahomes once again put in a oddly low scoring performance but overall, they will be happy about the result. The Spicy Boys on the other hand are not very good. Their lack of depth makes me want to vomit BUT Kyler Murray looks awesome so that’s good.
2024-2025 Commissioner’s Rankings
These are officially cancelled. I don’t have the time to fucking do this shit anymore and I’m just going to be including myself in the overall Coaches’ Poll. Not only does this save me some time but it also eliminates my bias so Ben stops crying like a little bitch.
SCS Week 2 Rankings
| Rank | Team | Points |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | 9 Inch Males | 1280.64 |
| 2 | Transgender Cigarettes | 1154.48 |
| 3 | Sad Dads | 963.23 |
| 4 | ZYN Dynasty | 859.74 |
| 5 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls | 858.38 |
| 6 | Choking the Belichicken | 819.63 |
| 7 | The Portuguese Short Kings | 703.47 |
| 8 | The Violent Beauregardes | 690.39 |
| 9 | The Funky Uncles | 661.29 |
| 10 | Spicy Boys | 528.18 |
Coaches Poll Week 2 Rankings
| Rank | Team | Avg. Rank |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | 9 Inch Males (3) | 1.00 |
| 2 | Sad Dads | 2.33 |
| 3 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls | 3.00 |
| 4 | Transgender Cigs | 3.75 |
| 5 | ZYN Dynasty | 5.33 |
| 6 | The Violent Beauregardes | 6.67 |
| 7 | The Funky Uncles | 7.00 |
| 8 | Choking the Belichicken | 7.67 |
| 9 | Spicy Boys | 9.00 |
| 10 | The Portuguese Short Kings | 9.33 |
Week 3 Preview & Picks
vs. 
TPSK has been ass so far to start the year and their week 3 matchups are absolutely brutal. CTB get the win.
vs. 
While the injury bug has completely crushed them so far in 2024, they should have enough to handle the lowly Spicy Boys. TVB get back on track.
vs. 
After a tough week 2 saw the Sad Dads bid for an unbeaten season end, they will be more than happy to welcome this dogshit team to town. Sad Dads roll!!
vs. 
The TCs are on fire but are overachieving. That being said, they have some SOFT matchups in Week 3 which should be enough for them. TCs continue their insane run to start the year.
GAME OF THE WEEK
vs. 
This is very clearly the matchup of the week. Both teams have had different starts to the season as NIM have shocked themselves a bit while TBB have had a slower start than anticipated. The matchups are nearly identical in terms of difficulty but availability will be the issue. And so far, TBB’s struggles with availability have not been positive. NIM continue their reign of dominance.
They’ll get better… I promise…
Signing off,
Your Beloved Commissioner
AverageFantasyFootballGuy.com 