Proper overdue, innit? Lads, my apologies for the delay in getting this to you all but I was enjoying the real football across the pond. Luckily, the step blogger has once again stepped up and provided you all with his own blog. Proper gentleman. However, I will be adding some commentary throughout in italics so you can differentiate who’s who. Alright, let’s dive into it.
Week 12 in the books and the second of 12 weeks I will be substituting in for our “beloved” commissioner (Reading this sentence gave me the spins worse than the 10mg ‘Zyn’ I bought in England). Last time he had Ebola, this time he’s in England. Unfortunately, he booked this trip well over a year ago (we booked this trip about two months ago and bought tickets to see United/Everton before we even had a flight or accommodations set up), so his intentions of fucking the Queen have since been removed from the itinerary of this trip but he’s seen quite the number of football fields and not the ones we’ll be talking about here. Let’s dive into it. (I’ve taught him well as I already said this.)
Week 12 Recap
I’m going to just rename these games as if they were English Prem Matchups.
Arsenal vs. Sheffield United
Another blowout sees the winner we expected as TBB trounce TC by 60. Not much “boom” from TBB, just well-rounded performance from everyone on the team. Governor DeAngelis has to love that. TC decided to put out the 2015 Sixers lineup as they continue to trust the process. TCs can’t even afford their weekly $5 fine so I HIGHLY suggest that they start putting some actual fucking lineups out there. Love a good tank job though. Great work lads.
Chelsea vs. Brentford
TFU saw some much-needed production from Waddle and CMC, but it wasn’t enough to overcome CTB. This loss sees them fall to the final playoff seed. Lucky for them the playoff teams are set, and they are in. Unlucky for them, they could see an early exit if they don’t start putting together some better weeks. As for CTB, production from some players involved in recent moves propelled them into the win column this week, but at this stage of the season I’m not sure that’s even where they want to be. Demercado looked good as he lost the reigns to Michael Carter who lost the reigns to Zonovan Knight last year who was cut in the offseason.
Man City vs. Brighton
Another well rounded win from TVB as they see their QB turning into a superstar in the past 4 weeks while their WRs continue to carry the load. Pacheco had quite the day as well while TVB “star” RB Ekeler looks like he aged 20 years in 2 weeks. On the other side TPSK can’t be too upset, they may have fallen to the median as well as lost, but you’ve got Jalen fucking Hurts. That helps your spirits at the end of the day. TPSK are starting to genuinely impress me, and I think the coaches’ poll will show that they are impressing others as well.
Spurs vs. Everton
The final blowout of the week sees ZYN beat SB handily. A QB1 week from Allen as well as the resurgence of Harris, Pollard and Ridley see ZYN gaining some traction just a few short weeks before the playoffs. While one former blogger would say this ZYN team are frauds and won’t win in the playoffs, this blogger seems to think that this ZYN team are frauds and won’t win in the playoffs. SB played a great game.
“Good teams win great teams cover medians” – Derek Ross, SB Governor
Proper fucking club the Spicy Boys are!
Liverpool vs. United
The third, but not final, blowout of the week. SD could have only started their RBs this week and would have beaten 4/10 of the league, including NIM. SD is getting healthy at the right time and some other contenders shouldn’t be content. NIM on the other hand are slowly sliding down the standings and finding it hard to decide where they really want to be in this league. NIM trotted out a lineup with only 2 players under 28 years old which doesn’t bode well for the future of the franchise. Could be tough sledding for the late seed come playoff time. NIM are absolute shite. Remind me of United. A shadow of their old selves. Club is beyond dead. Rotten to their core.
2023-2024 Post-Week 12 ‘Adult Table’ Power Rankings
- The Violent Beauregardes (21-3) [-]: Better hope WRs can carry because Ekeler is dead, and you can’t rely on 30 from Pacheco every week.
- Sad Dads (20-4) [-]: Probably the best team in the league but I don’t make these rankings my computer algorithm does.
- The Bitchin Batgirls (17-7) [-]: Surging batgirls taking 6 straight still fighting for the bye, unlikely to get that unless catastrophe occurs for the teams ahead.
- ZYN Dynasty (14-10) [UP 1]: While this team may be frauds, it’s the performance of others that sees them climb the ranks this week.
- Nine Inch Males (13-11) [DN 1]: Looking like a pretender after this week, will need the retirement home to start prescribing steroids if they want to make a serious run.
- The Funky Uncles (12-12) [-]: Sitting tight right where they belong, could really use the likes of a few star-studded receivers right now……
2023-2024 Post-Week 12 ‘Kids’ Table’ Rankings
- Spicy Boys (6-18) [UP 1]: Huge week 12 median win the spicy boys becoming the frisky boys, could see them playing spoiler against some playoff teams down the stretch.
- The Portuguese Short Kings (6-18) [DN 1]: Great performance from the short kings this week, albeit a loss. Dropping one spot based on SB median win and high morale..
- Choking the Belichicken (6-18) [-]: CTB find a win but unfortunately can’t climb the ladder here due to the powerful performances of the above league mates.
- Transgender Cigs (5-19) [-]: The sixers drafted Jahlil Okafor, Ben Simmons and Markelle Fultz in back-to-back to back tanking years. Just saying. – Yeah and look where that got them…
Adults table and kids table, thanksgiving reference get it? Fuck you
This week we won’t have our SCS and Coaches poll rankings, unless the commissioner would like to make an additional blog. As far as stats and info, the TC have claimed their 6th loser of the week award. They will likely end the year with more loser of the weeks than wins, and that could happen even without getting any more loser of the weeks. – WRONGO. I AM HERE AND WE WILL BE HAVING THOSE RANKINGS!
On the lighter side of things, I do believe both SD and ZYN find themselves in the top 10 scores on the year from their performances this week.
SCS (SuperLeague Championship Series) Rankings & Coaches’ Poll
| Rank | Team | Points | Trend |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Violent Beauregardes | 115 | ↔ |
| 2 | Sad Dads | 109 | ↔ |
| 3 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls | 105 | ↔ |
| 4 | ZYN Dynasty | 101 | ↔ |
| 5 | Nine Inch Males | 96 | ↔ |
| 6 | The Funky Uncles | 89 | ↔ |
| 7 | Spicy Boys | 82 | ↑1 |
| 8 | The Portuguese Short Kings | 81 | ↓1 |
| 9 | Choking the Belichicken | 80 | ↔ |
| 10 | Transgender Cigarettes | 73 | ↔ |
The Coaches for this week are:
- NEW ADDITION: Random Guy Pat Works With
- Michael Garvey – Trans Cigs President & Governor
- Ryan Dasch – NIM President & Governor
- Pat Shetzline – TVB President & Governor
| Rank | Team | Avg. Rank | Trend |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | The Violent Beauregardes (2) | 1.50 | ↔ |
| 2 | Sad Dads | 2.50 | ↑1 |
| 3 | The Bitchin’ Batgirls (1) | 2.75 | ↓1 |
| 4 | ZYN Dynasty | 4.25 | ↔ |
| 5 | Nine Inch Males | 5.75 | ↑2 |
| 6 | The Portuguese Short Kings | 6.25 | ↔ |
| 7 | The Funky Uncles | 7.25 | ↓2 |
| 8 | Transgender Cigs (1) | 7.75 | ↑1 |
| 9 | Spicy Boys | 8.00 | ↓1 |
| 10 | Choking the Belichicken | 9.00 | ↔ |
Stats & Info as of Week 12
LOSER LIST AS OF WEEK 12
| TEAM | WEEKS THEY WERE A LOSER | LEAGUE FUND MONEY |
| Trans Cigs | Week 1, Week 5, Week 6, Week 9, Week 11, Week 12 | $30 |
| NIM | Week 4, Week 8 | $10 |
| TPSK | Week 2 | $5 |
| Spicy Boys | Week 3 | $5 |
| Funkles | Week 7 | $5 |
| ZYN Dynasty | Week 10 | $5 |
POSITION CHANGES
Week 13 Preview & Picks
TBB v TPSK
TPSK are desimated with byes in this matchup, but unfortunately that probably wouldn’t have made a difference anyway. TBB are surging and I expect that to continue. TBB in a route
NIM v TC
Not much to say about this one. NIM is going to field their best possible lineup which wont be very good, but TC will ensure their lineup is MUCH worse. NIM by less than it should be by
TFU v SB
TFU on a 6 game losing streak while SB are surging on a 1 result winning streak. TFU need to win this to gain some momentum going into the playoffs, but I’m not sure this is the week it starts. SB win
TVB v CTB
CTB coming in with a crucial, their only, RB on a bye which is a huge loss for them. TVB see 2 receivers on a bye as well, but something tells me they will be just fine. TVB comfortably
GAME OF THE WEEK: Sad Dads v ZYN Dynasty
The only matchup of the week which includes two playoff teams, as well as the two highest scoring teams from the previous week. Josh Allens bye sees ZYN starting Jake Browning and that alone is making me question this choice for game of the week. Although I am writing this blog prior to the clearance of waivers so maybe if he smart by now he’s picked up Gardner Minshew. Minshew, Browning, Allen IDC. SD by double digits
Figured I would add some clinching/playoff situations:
- TVB: Can go as low as the 3rd seed but can clinch a bye with a win or a TBB double loss
- Sad Dads: Can go as low as the 3rd seed but can clinch a bye with a win or TBB double loss
- TBB: Can go as low as the 4th seed but are still in play for a bye
- ZYN Dynasty: Can go as high as the 3rd seed but are not eligible for a bye
- NIM: Can go as high as the 4th seed but are not eligible for a bye
- Funkles: Can go as high as the 4th seed but are not eligible for a bye
Well, I don’t have much more to say other than I fucking hate the leagues bye week schedules.
With Love,
The Blogger that Stepped Up
AverageFantasyFootballGuy.com 