Well, nothing changed during the final week of the season, but it was a great week, nonetheless. We now move into the best time of the year, playoff season. We got some juicy matchups this week in both the Inaugural and Likely Last #1 Pick Party and the Inaugural Super League Cup Final Championship Super Bowl Playoffs. Let’s quickly dive into this week’s slate and then I’ll conserve the rest of my energy and words for the playoff preview(s).
Batgirls Get Bitched Up
TBB got thrashed. Boring game. Rumor has it they were always playing for the lowest score this week as the thought of a post-gym (brag) beer was too hard to turn down. The Spicy Boys did have something to play for as a 42+ point advantage on the week would have allowed them to jump TVB. Unfortunately for the Boys, they lost their QB to what is likely an ACL and it is likely going to kill them going forward.
McKinstry Melee
The Sad Dads grabbed an incredibly unimportant win against their arch-rival The Funkles. Boring game. Didn’t matter. However, putting up the 2nd highest points on the week as they head into a showdown with relative rivals TVB could show signs of firepower moving forward. The Funkles should be okay but have to be nervous about their piss poor RB output.
MISSING: Choking the Belichicken
The rough patch continued this week for CTB as they lost their 10th straight… A collapse that will live in infamy. TVB got the all-important double win to keep them firmly in the #5 spot and avoid a matchup with NIM. Dak continues to be pretty average which could end up hurting them in the playoffs… We will find out.
Deebo’s Death
If Deebo Samuel is out for the playoffs, it could spell trouble for Free Deshaun. They’re a powerhouse but Deebo is a huge piece that could cause massive issues down the line. Trans Cigs, in rather predictable fashion, lost their fucking 17th straight. When asked about their current struggles Coach Chip said, “I’m just really glad we have the number 1 dynasty tight end in Noah Fant”.
This Score Is Worse Than I Remembered
Yikes… An absolute ass beating by NIM and it couldn’t have come at a better time. If they could have grabbed an extra win earlier in the season, they’d be looking at a first-round bye and possibly the favorite in the playoffs. TPSK’s tumultuous season comes to end with a second lowest score of the week, a proper sendoff I would say.
Week 14 Picks: 4-1
Picks to Date: 36-27
Playoff Odds:
- Free Deshaun [-250]
- 9 Inch males [+150]
- The Funky Uncles [+175]
- Sad Dads [+350]
- The Violent Beauregardes [+350]
- The Spicy Boys [+1000]
Consolation Odds:
- Choking the Belichicken [-350]
- The Bitchin’ Batgirls [+200]
- Portuguese Short Kings [+250]
- Transgender Cigs [+500]
Playoff Preview
(4) Sad Dads vs. (5) The Violent Beauregardes
The Sad Dads meet their brother for the second week in a row, albeit a different kind of brother. Unlike The Funkles, this brotherhood is not rooted in blood rather it is rooted in John *************************************************** {Redacted due to the sensitive nature of the sentence}. TVB will be fired up going into this matchup. They’re flying high at the moment which should give them a fair bit of confidence heading into this one. Both teams are deserved playoff teams and have the firepower to go off on any given week. Tee Higgins confusing injury situation could play a huge factor in this one as well as Travis Etienne’s gradual decline. Truthfully, I like TVB in this one. I think in the end their difference maker’s far exceed the Sad Dad’s.
(3) Nine Inch Males vs. (6) The Spicy Boys
NIM are arguably one of the hottest teams at the moment. There’s a reason I have them slated as my #2 team heading into the playoffs over the Funkles. They’ve put up some monster weeks recently and have an extremely consistent starting lineup. No one really blows up but rarely is anyone getting below double digits. The Spicy Boys on the other hand grinded their way into the playoffs but without Kyler Murray I just don’t see them being able to get the job done. NIM should cruise to a semi-final matchup against the Funkles.
Consolation Preview
(7) Choking the Belichicken vs. (8) The Portuguese Short Kings
CTB comes into this one at an absolute low point. They’ve closed out the season in extremely poor fashion. Luckily for them, they’re very clearly the best equipped to win three straight games to get the #1 pick. They were a playoff team not too long and honestly a top tier contender. It’s all fallen apart as of late, but I think they get this one done.
(9) The Bitchin’ Batgirls vs. (10) Transgender Cigs
TBB are a mixed bag side. The potential for a high scoring output is always there but it’s a matter of starting the right guys. This one should be a pretty easy matchup as the TCs suck but anything can truly happen. TBB in a nail biter to move onto the Week 17 Final.
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