A great week. And my final blog that I must write on a Tuesday night. Tomorrow I embark on a journey that I did not intend to do this early in my professional career. A desk job. I’ll be participating in loser beers from here on out. Let’s discuss the week that was.
Batgirls Kmet War Crimes On The Field(s)
SHEWWWWW. The Batgirls fucking snapped. Most national journalists would argue that their week was FAR more impressive than Free Deshaun’s. TBB started the season as the clear cut worst team. Things looked dire & there were murmurs of mass firings in the front office. And when Breece Hall went down it truly looked like everything had gone to shit. However, since week 5, the Batgirls are 6-6 & have proven to be a test that many people simply did not anticipate. Led by Justin Fields’ incredible rise to stardom and an extremely young core, TBB put an absolute beatdown on the Cigs. I mean there was a point during the witching hour in the 4 o’clock window where every touchdown Scott Hanson showed was just another Batgirl. I mean christ, fuckin’ Christian Watson even showed up and that poor kid was sitting on the bench. THEY FLEXED A FUCKIN 23 POINT SCORING TIGHT END. Great day for that fan base. They must be elated. Onto the Cigs. YIKES. A once contender early in the year, the Transgender Cigarettes have completely gone off the rails. After offloading some talent before the week started, it was written in the stars that they would be taking a large loss. They are in bad shape and I believe there may be a strong chance they end up slotting in at the #10 spot by the end of the season.
No Longer Spicy & No Longer Sad
The Sad Dads meteoric rise continued this week as they put on a show against their good league mates in the Spicy Boys. Newly acquired Patrick Mahomes put up elite fantasy numbers and they only had one player put up single digits. The Dads are deep and their RB strategy continues to pay off big time. They’ve firmly established themselves as a playoff team at this point. Mike Williams’ return could be a huge boost as we near closer to the playoffs. Talking highly of the Sad Dads legitimately makes me sick. They fuckin’ sucked & John just wheeled & dealed and now we’re here. Fuck me.
In regards to the Spicy Boys, it was apparent they kind of threw in the towel last week. They sold off a few of their top guys and now with Cooper Kupp potentially gone for the rest of the season, the situation is less than ideal. I must say the more I am looking into these bottom tier teams I am realizing that I may have a fucking consolation contender after all. But on a more positive note, Governors John & Derek (spelt properly, unlike former RB Derrick Henry) made me extremely proud today. BOTH governors (one of only TWO teams with more than 1 manager) imbibed early this morning. I salute both of you. As you all know, I set an extremely bad example by not drinking my loser beers after Weeks 1 & 2. That one is on me and it is something that to this day I am still embarrassed about. Most nights I lay awake thinking about what I could have done. I am sorry for what I’ve done and I hope you all can forgive me.
The 2nd Biggest Weekend Letdown by a Portuguese Man
The headline here is referring to Cristiano Ronaldo, former Manchester United Legend turned snake. It’s one thing to call out the Glazers but to talk about the gaffer and then the greatest striker in Premier League history (ask Jake), that is a line that shall not be crossed. That was the BIGGEST letdown but TPSK followed it up losing their 11th straight (in total between matchups & median). They did however fight like hell to make a game of it & may have got the win if the Eagles defense knew how to stop the run. Their one silver lining from the matchup was JT’s get back game. They will be praying like hell that this is a sign of things to come. TVB missed out on an incredibly important median win by the smallest of margins. AJ Brown’s uncharacteristically down game crushed all hopes of a median comeback & one that would have put them back into a playoff spot. There can’t be too much concern though as they were without a key piece in Joe Mixon as well as missing their starting quarterback. Oh wait, they weren’t missing their starting quarterback. They actually don’t have a starting quarterback. Though the lack of median win will hurt, seeing Kadarius Toney getting heavily involved in the Chiefs’ offense should have the organization quite aroused.
Deshaun Changes Course & Assaults A Male
Fuckin’ snooze fest. Free Deshaun is boring. I don’t even enjoy writing about them because week in and week out they just put up astronomical #’s and they now account for 40% of the league’s top 10 weekly high scores. (Note: The Bitchin’ Batgirls account for 10%. Felt this was important to note, hence the note.) Even with a poor performance from Josh Allen they still somehow snapped to the tune of 192.45 points. I really don’t know how or why I thought they would be bad in the beginning of the season but boy was I wrong. There is a clear cut plan that Ben is putting in place & it directly mirrors the Los Angeles Rams: completely fucking mortgage the future, sell all picks & WIN NOW. Yeah, in a year or 2 Free Deshaun will be an absolute dumpster fire. But their commitment to their plan is valiant at least. NIM grinded out an incredibly important median win to help ease the pain of the blowout. However, there continues to be growing concern around the league in regards to their face of the franchise Justin Herbert. Sources inside the organization have quelled the rumors of him leaving before the deadline by saying “We’ll keep rolling with the (redacted) boy”.
A Funkin’ Choke Job
CTB’s up and down weeks continued as they lost a great matchup against the Funkles. In even more heartbreaking fashion, they lost out on the median by .39 points… I mean that is simply fucking brutal. They now sit at 10-10 in the #5 spot and have a few teams ON THAT ASS. However, I am not going to roast them because they have been dealt an extremely shitty hand. CTB ranks #2 in scoring, they have the MOST points against & all 5 of their matchup losses came to teams with median wins that week. I think in the long run they will be okay but with Goedert expected to miss time they decided to make an emergency move for Greg Kittle. I love Greg Kittle. He’s the fucking man. But that brother fucking stinks this year & I think it probably has more to do with TVB starting QB Jimmy G as oppose to Kittle just not being good. That could end up being a massive trade down the line for CTB. Funkles continued their winning ways via their top two WRs snapping. SHOCKER. A late move (& arguably an overpay) for D’Andre Swift didn’t do much to help the team’s output this week but it didn’t matter. They’re right on the tail of Free Deshaun and it seems like the race for the Supporter’s Shield could take a big turn this week as they face off this week.
Week 10 Picks: 3-2
Picks to Date: 29-24
Post Week 10 Power Rankings as of 11.15.22
- Free Deshaun (15-5) ↔
- The Funky Uncles (14-6) ↔
- 9 Inch Males (12-8) ↑1
- Choking the Belichicken (10-10) ↓1
- Sad Dads (12-8) ↔
- The Violent Beauregardes (10-10) ↔
- The Spicy Boys (10-10) ↔
- The Bitchin Batgirls (6-14) ↑1
- Transgender Cigs (7-13) ↓1
- Portuguese Short Kings (4-16) ↔
Week 11 Quick Picks
TBB vs. NIM – Batgirls high runs out. Too much to handle, NIM win. (NIM leads the series 1-0)
Sad Dads vs. TVB – A vital playoff spot matchup sees the Sad Dads without two top RBs. TVB get a monster win. (Sad Dads lead the series 1-0)
TCs vs. Spicy Boys – Spicy Boys take care of business in potential consolation tournament preview. (TCs leads the series 1-0)
CTB vs. TPSK – I actually like TPSK in an all-time upset. (CTB leads the series 1-0)
GAME OF THE WEEK: Free Deshaun vs. Funkles
- What a fucking game. Week 11 and we get a potential championship game preview. The two best teams all year. Free Deshaun is projected more even with one of their slotted starters on a bye. Their bench sucks so much though. If Jones is out it’s a blowout. Funkles win.
Well that concludes Week 10. Things are REALLY beginning to shape up. Only 4 weeks remain in the regular season and wow that actually makes me sad as I sit here and write this. I will miss fantasy football a lot. It gives me a sense of purpose. You guys give me a sense of purpose. Love you all and enjoy the rest of your week, fantasy season(s) & your lives. I love you all. But seriously,
AverageFantasyFootballGuy.com 