A Day in Super League History – August 9th, 2022
It started late last night so I guess you could say August 8th too but for the purpose of this piece we’ll pretend it began at 12:01 am EST, August 9th. Over the next 14 hours or so will forever be known as the ‘Great Trade Rush of 2022’. People were trading as if the deadline was near or their teams would be locked forever.
Trade #1 – 8/8 @ 10:28 PM
John (Sad Dads) sends coveted rookie RB James Cook, 2023 & 2024 2nd Round Picks to Jake (Hot Diggsity Dogs) for a 2023 1st Round Pick, Dallas rookie WR Jalen Tolbert & ‘One Szn Wonder’ RB James Robinson.
ANALYSIS: Hell of a way to start off the trade brigade. Cook is universally seen as one of the Top 3 rookie running backs coming out of the 2022 class so to see him moved so early into the season definitely caused the avalanche that ensued after. Overall, it’s a relatively fair trade.
Keep Trade Cut gives the edge to John. I like the return of the two 2nd rounders for Jake.
Trade #2 – 8/9 @ 10:09 AM
Pat (The Violent Beauregardes) sends Melvin Gordon, Josh Jacobs & Deebo to Mata (TPSKs) for Saquon Barkley & DK Metcalf.
ANALYSIS: Another properly packaged and fair trade. Gordon & Jacobs shittyness combined for Saquon’s 69% healthy body. DK is hell of a receiver getting thrown balls by probably Tyrod Taylor so that sucks. And Deebo is just Deebo. Ben would have sucked Pat’s dick for Deebo. Well always another day for that.
KTC gives the edge to Mata. Honestly I was pretty harsh on Pats return. It’s a good trade for both.
Trade #3 – 8/9 @ 10:34 AM
The beginning of Mata’s addiction as he sends Davante Adams to the Ben for Keenan Allen, St. Brown and a 2023 1st.
ANALYSIS: Sources close to Ben’s camp said that upon completion of the deal he said “I think I just gave up way to much for Adams”. Bad grammar Ben and a bad trade.
KTC gives this a what the fuck are you doing Ben and I give it a “Ben thinks this is a redraft league”.
Trade #4 – 8/9 @ 10:43 AM
The Bitchin Batgirls (me) got involved by sending their beautiful baby boy Javonte Williams to known manipulator John (Sad Dads) for rookie fucking stud George Pickens, another player with a bunch of last names & a 2023 1st Rounder.
ANALYSIS: According to reports, the Batgirls prepared to walk away from the table multiple times but the deal got pushed over the line in the end due to John’s incessant nature. Giving up Williams must have been really hard but according to Pat Shetzner the Batgirls are fully prepared to tank.
KTC gives the edge to the Batgirls due to the haul but I bet the Batgirls are kicking themselves losing Williams who they fucking traded for but got bullied into making the trade but GEORGE PICKENS!
Trade #5 – 8/9 @ 11:19 AM
Trade addict Mata goes for trade number 3 on the day as he ships newly acquired Josh Jacobs, Elijah Moore and talented rookie WR Chris Olave to Ry (Nine Inch Males) for Joey Mixon, Garrett Wilson and a 2023 2nd.
ANALYSIS: Mata has a fucking problem. Josh Jacobs has to be furious. Man barely got his feet wet in Portugal and he’s already getting shipped off to the biggest scumbag in the league’s team. Fair trade. Like dead even. Josh Jacobs is just deadweight that’s going to used all season in trades isn’t he???
KTC says it’s dead even. I say it’s dead even. It’s dead even.
Trade #6 – 8/9 @ 1:10 PM
Garvey (The Perc Valley Chippewas – I just made this team name up for him) sends $10 worth KJ Hamler, DeVonta Smith & 2023 3rd to Jake for Courtland Sutton and Joshua Palmer.
ANALYSIS: On first reaction I thought this moronic for Garvey but I guess it’s an okay trade. Don’t see the need for the 3rd rounder but reports say Garvey “doesn’t care about rookie picks all that much”. To that I say, you do know this is a dynasty league right???
KTC says Jake wins the trade. I don’t think anyone wins the trade.
Winners:
- Derek and Lou for staying out of this mess.
- John’s team
- Mata and Eddie’s draft selections
- Eddie’s Day Care center added two new kids
Losers:
- Garvey & John’s Draft selections
- Ben’s mental health
- Mata’s trade addiction recovery
And that concludes our coverage here. Was that well thought out and coherent? Probably not. Did you read the whole thing? Probably not. Do I care? Absolutely.
AverageFantasyFootballGuy.com 